Danny Dyer

"You wha? Appwls-n-pears? 'ow's yer farver? whiswle n flute?"

THE most typecast person in the history of the world. Need a cockney wideboy for something? Give Dyer a call, he's your man. Need some cockney faux-gangster attitude? Get Danny round "e's da biszniss innit?"

"So we're making a documentary on Football Hooliganism. Who can we get to present it? We're going to need someone with a knowledge of football firms and gangs, and someone who can also act double hard and be all sinister and menacing to camera..... I know lets get wet-end fanny and football follower Danny Dyer to present it, and we'll call it REAL Football Factories. Cos he was in a film called that you know!? Oh its just all falling into place"

People who stand and drink at the bar

This doesn't annoy me during quiet periods, I even sometimes stand at the bar when its quiet. However, ignorant fuckers who stand there refusing to budge when its busy are on about the same level as rapists to me. They're the kind of people who enjoy talking about what they're doing at work when they are away from the office, the constant boaster and show off.

And you'll notice most of the time when you encounter one of these beasts, they usually reek of B.O, it must have been that rigorous day at the office!